Living Up, Giving Up, When I Go, Can I Go With You?

The word 'Consent' has been flying around on my social media spaces recently, not only because a Student Union within close proximity is running an 'I <3 Consent' campaign in which they are educating students about what consent is and why we need it, but also this article has recently come into view as well.

http://www.nus.org.uk/en/news/nus-research-reveals-one-in-four-students-suffer-unwelcome-sexual-advances/

Yes, it all sounds very 'worky' of me to be posting about student unions and topical student issues - but that is just it - sexual harassment and consent is not just a student issue and more people should be paying attention. I am writing this post mostly off of the back of two incidents that have happened in the past few months. Both taking place in nightclubs, in which there is loud music, alcohol and the majority of the spaces are dark and poorly lit. The first incident took place on a spontaneous night out with friends; I was wearing the same clothes I had been all day just patterned leggings and a baggy tshirt - when a guy, that I did not know and whom had made no effort to talk to me, groped my behind. The first time I ignored it. The second time I gave him some kind of death stare, and the third time was when I was actually about to leave. I stopped and turned around, shouted at him and slapped him in the face - I felt that was the least he deserved - he had touched me without asking and so I felt he needed it back - right across the face. One aspect of the whole situation that frustrated me was that I was not dressed remotely provocatively (not that that would have made any difference - it just annoyed me that this guy was clearly on a mission).

Incident number 2, happened last week. I was in a club with some friends, we were out on a leaving do, and I was having a really nice night. I was in a great mood and a guy walked past and smiled at me. There is nothing wrong with that - in fact it is friendly and so I smiled back. However, as I turned around I felt an unwelcoming hand grope my behind again (seriously?!) My friends were all in front of me and I made sure it was none of them quickly before confronting this guy. Why would anyone think that a smile was an invitation for you to touch me? I didn't know this guy, we had never spoken, just smiled at one another.

I feel like this post seems negative towards men, but that is not the point of it - I just wanted to share some frustrating experiences in which consent had been totally neglected and had for one put me in a bad mood and ruined my night. I wouldn't advise slapping and yelling at all strangers - but I do think it is important that we start sticking up for ourselves - no matter what your sexual orientation or gender you have every right to consent, and if another human being neglects or betrays that - by hell let them know that it is not okay.

Stick up for yourselves and remember that you deserve better.

Go - Grimes ft Blood Diamonds