366 days of #SoberSoph

If you personally know me then you will be fully aware that 2016 was a year of sobriety for me. After the realisation that I was drinking too much alcohol, having sleepless nights, forgetting and regretting too many of my weekends in 2015 I vowed to stay sober for 366 days (yes, just so happens 2016 was a leap year) and I even made myself my very own 'Sober Calendar' with drunken pictures of me from over the years to remind me of, well, just how little I remembered...oh and how bad hangovers really are. I also kept a journal which I wrote entries in every day in 2016; sometimes looking back situations can seem less intense than they were or you may have forgotten about problems that occurred so I wanted to capture as much of 2016 as I could so I could truly share what it was like to be 23 in 2016 and be completely sober.

I would be lying if I said not drinking alcohol was easy, but at some points of 2016 it actually wasn't difficult at all. A lot of research has been done on creating new habits/breaking old ones and the general conclusion I made seemed to be that after 3 months, my 'new' habit should be easy and come completely naturally, which to a degree it did. I certainly got to the point where I was happy to go out to pubs, or to parties or to a nightclub, and be in a situation where usually I would have alcohol and still have a really good time just drinking water. It is kind of sad that I linked being happy with a night of celebrating or socialising to the amount of alcohol I consumed, but I see how a lot of people in my life still do that, and I do understand it even though it seems to be something that people don't really talk about.

There were some key times over the year that my urge to drink excessively was really tested and I think even though I have trained my brain and told myself a thousand times that when I am really upset, embarrassed or angry that alcohol is not the answer, in the back of my brain somewhere it still seems logical. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to that, alcohol is a mood enhancer and so heightens the emotion that you are currently feeling. Before 2016 I have had countless nights of tears, running away from people and generally not being safe, but my urge to drink alcohol for bad reasons has definitely declined. A lot of people suggested that I just drink less alcohol or don't drink as often, but unfortunately I didn't think that would be enough to be able to almost, reset my way of thinking when it comes to alcohol consumption.

There are a number of things that I have learnt from being sober, some I expected and others I really didn't;

Drinking alcohol is expensive: at least it is when you put it into perspective with all my other finances. I definitely worried less about how much money I needed on me when going out with friends, even if it was just to the pub, because I knew I would only ever manage one fizzy drink or fruit juice and then would be on water for the rest of the night. It did however mean that whenever someone used not having a lot of money as an excuse for not socialising, I assumed it was because they thought they needed to have alcohol in order to have fun or they didn't actually want to socialise, which is absolutely fine...I just wish people were honest.

Sober Soph is fun: I don't think I ever doubted myself, I enjoy my own company and I have good close friends, but being sober really made me see myself in a different light. That it was possible to still socialise with people and have a good time whether there was alcohol or not. 2016 was definitely a good year for strengthening friendships and meeting new people.

Sleep and water consumption are so important: I was having so many headaches this time last year, and most of that was because I wasn't drinking enough water everyday and I wasn't having enough sleep or consistent nights of sleep. I am not perfect and I still have messed up sleeping patterns every so often, but I now know the difference between hunger and thirst, (that may sound silly but a lot of the time we think we are hungry we are actually just thirsty) I don't crave juices or fizzy drinks (although they are nice on the odd occasion) and I value water a lot more.

No offence guys but drunk people are really boring: I have always had this 'obsession' (not sure that is the right term) with Drunk Sophie, almost as if she is a character that I have made up and written about but I have never actually met. Most of my friends have met her and so they tell me stories about her, and I remember bits and pieces and so when I put it all together she seems so care free and silly, but in a cute funny way and so I guess I kind of imagined her as the ideal me. But now having seen so many more people inebriated, I realise that she can't have been that great. When people have had a certain amount to drink they can be fun to be around, the jokes are rolling and everyone is having fun, but everyone hits a brick wall where they become irritating or they make no sense. Don't worry guys, everyone has their limits, but I certainly have learnt when the best time to go home is, as to avoid the said boring drunk folk.

It is now 2017, and my year of sobriety is over. A lot of people on the way have been surprised when I have told them that I do want to go back to drinking alcohol, my sober year was never about being teetotal for me (although I do see the benefit) it was about behaviour change. I like Whiskey, Bourbon and Spiced Rum and I want to drink those things in moderation and now I feel like I can. Before it was very easy for me to be persuaded into having a tequila shot, or to mix spirits or to have a cider on a hot day even though I knew it would give me horrendous heartburn and I was most likely to throw up. I really favoured what I thought was happiness and what other people wanted to see in 'drunk sophie' over my health and it feels strange that I needed  the extremes of not having alcohol for an entire year for me to feel confident in my ability to drink alcohol in the way I want to.

I have been overwhelmed by support over the past 12 months, friends and family telling me to keep going and joining me in my countdown and even though there were a number of people that told me what I was doing was stupid, that I was too young to stop drinking, that I wouldn't be able to do it...I did and I am really proud of myself.